Secret Love
by SansAmourOnEstRien
Summary: Bella is a 20 year-old college student, with a two year old daughter. Edward is the cocky, good for nothing player that she's known-and crushed on- since seventh grade. Maybe there will be love!
1. Chapter 1

It wasn't a normal day. I could tell that much when I stepped outside that morning. And I was right. As cliché as it sounds, today was going to be the first day of the rest of my life. I knew that.

Lilly was walking quietly next to me as I roamed thru the aisles of books at our local library. She wasn't normally this quiet; after all, she was only two years old. Maybe she sensed it to. The odd misplacement of something, the feeling that something wasn't quite right. As we approached the end of the aisle, Lilly was more herself again. She was jumping around, as usual, her little light brown curls bouncing as she moved. I finally saw what she was looking at, the children's book section. And of course, her favourite person was there too. Alice Whitlock, the pixie-like black haired woman that read the books at 10 o'clock every morning. She was grinning widely when she saw Lilly approaching. Really, Alice had a heart of gold; she was one of the best people I knew. Of course, she was also my best friend, so I was a little biased.

"Lilly! What are you doing here?" She squealed. Alice was almost a kid herself. I wish I were kidding. If you stuck Alice in a diaper, she'd just look like an oversized baby. Excluding the fact that babies were fat, and cute, not beautiful, and only had two words in their vocabulary.

"She's helping her mom find books for class, Alice. Would you mind watching her for a second?" I asked her. It wasn't like if I was unsure of her answer, she loved Lilly, but I knew that sometimes she just didn't need a two year old devil to watch. Alice nodded her head as Lilly tugged on her hand, signalling she wanted 'up'.

I turned back to the aisle I had just been walking thru, and collided, quite dramatically I might add, with someone. When I looked up, beautiful, sparkling green eyes met mine. Of course, he (for it was a he), would be offended by beautiful. Handsome, maybe, or perfect would probably be better words to describe those eyes. Those eyes weren't the only perfect thing on him. His hair, a beautiful brownish- blond was in a careful disarray, and his skin was pale, possibly even paler than mine. His arms were sculpted, muscular at worst. He wasn't exactly Mr. Universe or anything, but yes, he had muscles. His lips were red, almost to a point where I thought he was wearing a pale lipstick. And on a boy, that was quite red. Those lips were twisted in an amused manner. He chuckled softly, then moved his hand, which I now noticed was outstretched towards me. I grabbed it, and he pulled me up from the ground.

"Sorry Miss. I wasn't watching where I was going." He said in a smooth voice. It sounded like... velvet, if that's an appropriate way to describe someone's voice. I smiled nervously.

"It's okay... neither was I, it seems." I said formally. Since when was I formal? I sounded like a Jane Austen Novel. Well, almost. His amused smile grew wider. I released his hand. I had been holding onto it for a while. I blushed. This had never happened to me. Not even with Lilly's father. Granted, I didn't even technically know who Lilly's father was.

"Hi. I'm Edward Cullen. Have I seen you before?" He asked me. Cullen? That was Alice's maiden name. Oh, so this was her brother.

"Probably. I bring Lilly here when Alice reads." I answered his question, groaning internally. Now, there was no way that we could see each other again. One: Alice would forbid me from dating him; she said it went against 'Girl code'. I wish I knew if that was real or not. Two: I had a kid. All the guys that I've told Lilly about no longer spoke to me. It was like having a kid was a dangerous disease that everyone had to stay away from. Of course, he didn't quite know that she was my daughter.

"Mommy, go now, pwease?" I heard Lilly beg, tugging on my hand. When I looked at her, smiling despite myself, she stretched her tiny dimpled hands upwards, silently asking for a lift. I obliged her, and hoisted her up. Edward chuckled softly when she turned to him, most likely smiling widely.

"This must be Lilly. Hi! I'm Edward." He introduced himself to the tiny two year old. She reached out and patted his cheek.

"Edwawd. Mommy, is Edwawd youw fwiend?" She asked me in her broken English. I shook my head.

"No, we just met hun. Where's Auntie Alice?" I asked her, wondering where her temporary babysitter had wandered to.

"Right here. Don't worry; I had no intention of letting her out of my sight, until she decided that running between the aisles to find you, while I shamelessly flirted with a new freshman at college was a good idea. I swear Lilly is a fifteen year old rebel in disguise." Alice huffed, bouncing next to me. "Edward? What are you doing here? I thought you vowed never to set foot in any place I work in, for as long as you live? Or where you searching the area for the newest meat?" She said icily. Did I mention that Alice and Edward were complete opposites? That Edward was a completely self-centred jerk, and a player, while Alice was more of the uptight, kind, putting everyone before herself type of person... and was a cheerleader in High School? Well, she stopped that when she got herself pregnant with her long-time boyfriend Jasper Whitlock. He proposed a week later. They were married the next morning- no joke.

Suddenly, Edward's kindness was not as appealing to me. Even his crooked grin seemed like poison that could potentially kill me. I studied his features once more. Again, his beauty struck me, but this time, he wasn't peacefully beautiful. He was, all in all, dangerously gorgeous. As if one more look at him could cause me to die, Alice dragged me by the arm, away from him. Glancing behind me, I found that Edward had left. Of course, he isn't interested in me. And for some sick reason, it hurt. I didn't like being rejected- no one did- but I was one to suffer in silence, I didn't vocalise my pain.

"_That's your brother_? Did he change? At all?" I asked, hopefully. Sure, he seemed like a poisonous snake now, but if he had changed, I don't think that he'd look exactly the same. So, maybe I should explain things, a little. I had known the Cullen's since I was in seventh grade. I had moved from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Washington. Let's just say that Alice, being hyper 99% of the time helps when you're looking for a good friend. Edward was the untouchable older brother (Girl code, remember?). I had my thoughts though. And I had dreams.

"What! No! He's the same self-centred... ugh!" Alice screeched, exasperated. That's one thing about Alice. She can get away with just about anything; even in a library. She was what my father called a 'Licensed Trouble-maker'. I truly was confounded by that statement.

"I see, and does he still not know whether or not it's Tiffany that he's dating, or if it's Rosalie?" I questioned, almost sarcastically. Lilly was fidgeting in my arms, so I put her down, and held onto her hand.

"Huh? Oh. He and Rose broke up a year ago. Where have you been, under a rock? It was all over the press or all over everyone's blogs. It was nuts. Tiffany dumped him a month ago, decided that he wasn't good enough for her." She giggled, and I shook my head. "Anyway, yeah, he's still got at least fourteen different girls, all ready to hang off his arm for about half an hour, and then be cast away into the dust, as soon as he's tired, or finds some new legs." Alice was practically growling at the last part. Then it hit me.

"Me? Why me? I'm not new; we've known each other for what... seven years, since when is that new?" I squeaked. Alice was glowering at the floor, but when she looked up, she looked apologetic.

"Because you have a kid, that's why." She stated simply, before leaving me to my thoughts, taking Lilly with her. I stood there, numb. So that's why he had liked Lilly. He just thought... ugh. I could hardly even think that. It was insane. Well, I would give him a piece of my mind, if I ever saw him again, that is. I turned around, and went to the children's book section, where loud squealing and high-pitched giggles could be heard. I stopped just outside the small archway, leaning against the bookshelf there. Lilly saw me, and jumped into my arms. I waved goodbye to Alice, who was reading another book to the demanding toddlers. My phone began ringing.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone.

"Hey Bells! It's Jake. So, I was wondering if you and Lilly wanted to come over. Amy's getting her land legs, and Leah's going crazy. It should be fun!" He laughed. I nodded, then realised he couldn't see that thru the phone.

"Yeah sure. When, tonight?" I asked. It seemed like a good idea, plus Lilly would have someone to play with for a while. Sometimes, I swear that she was around adults too much.

"Tonight... around six. Is that okay for you?" Jake clarified.

"Sure, bye Jake." I answered, hanging up. He never got to say the last word, when I was around. I looked at my watch, it was almost lunch time. Lilly noticed too, and was starting to whimper a little. I raced home, and got her a little bit of lunch, grabbing water for myself. I heard the doorbell ring, and went to answer it.

"Coming!" I yelled, when they didn't stop ringing the doorbell. When I opened it, I was surprised. "Rosalie? What are you doing here?" Yeah. Secret about me, Rosalie was my sister. I wasn't exactly crazy about that fact, but I did love her. As much as I could when she treated me like I was dirt. She was crying. And I don't mean the quiet trickle of tears. I mean the loud sobs, and the waterfall of salty tears. Sucking in a shaky breath, she began ranting.

"Well, you know how I used to date Edward? When we broke up, I had sort of been... cheating on him. It's not like he cared or anything. But being him, when he found out, he made a huge deal about it. So, now, the guy that I'm going out asked me if I loved him. Not too dramatic right? Well, I didn't know how to answer. He's just my boyfriend. I don't actually know him very well. But he's one of the school's star basketball players. So, obviously, it would just make sense for us to go out, right?" She said. It was like vomiting. Except, thankfully, it didn't stain the carpet. I had a kid that could take care of that. I didn't care about the high school level drama that she starred in. "Anyway, let me get to the point." She continued. I listened, but wasn't totally into it. "Bella, I'm pregnant." She rushed out. Well, that certainly caught my attention.

"Who's the father? Is it Edward, the guy you're dating, a random guy you picked up at one of the 'rage' parties you went to recently?" I asked sarcastically. She probably expected me to be panicked, and offer all of my help. If she hadn't noticed yet, I had a kid too. And I hadn't had any help from anybody when I was about to have her. Especially not from Rosalie. She was too busy sucking any guys face off.

"I... it's the quarterback of the football team." She sighed. Of course, how cliché of her; beautiful cheerleader gets pregnant; the quarterback of the football team is the father. It's like they walked right out of an ABC TV show. She knew I didn't care... no, _couldn't_ care. Had she at least talked to me _once_ after finding out I was pregnant, I might have slightly more sympathy. And to add to this 'dramatic' part of my life, it began to pour outside. And then lighting flashed, and thunder rumbled.

"Fine, I'll bite. Come on in." I sighed. Life just wasn't looking up for me. But, of course, my personal angel ran up to me, and hugged my knees. She peeked up at her aunt, who was a stranger to her. "Lilly, this is Rosalie." I explained. Rosalie was still crying, so she didn't notice Lilly until she ran up to her and started pulling at Rosalie's fingertips. Rosalie did her best to smile, but it still turned out to look like a grimace, and Lilly went right back to hiding behind my legs.

"Mommy, Wosawie is cwying!" She mumbled, most likely scared that Rosalie would try to eat her if she spoke too loud.

"I know hun. Come on; let's go get your favourite TV show on, 'kay?" I said, picking her up and walking into the living room, setting her down on the couch, and turning the TV on. I walked back to Rosalie. "Come on into the kitchen. Want some tea?" I asked her. I was polite. She was my sister, after all. I looked at the clock. Somehow, only half an hour had passed since I had talked to Jake. Time would need to pass faster than this, especially if Rosalie was going to be talking to me for a while.

"Well, where do I start?" The end would work best with my schedule. She droned on and on. Time thankfully did pass fast enough. Then she spoke the words that I knew where the real reason that she had come here. "Basically, I need money..." She trailed off. Whether it was from my furious expression, or from the ringing of the doorbell, I wasn't sure. I stood automatically, and sharply turned to answer the door. But I didn't like what I saw. Edward was waiting there, roses held in his hands. He smiled angelically at me, and I swear, I almost melted. He handed me the roses and stepped in, without technically being invited.

"So, I thought that I would accompany to your friends house." He suggested, and before I could speak he said. "Word travels fast. Plus, I'm fairly good friends with Jacob. He invited me too." And then he smiled that crooked smile, and I was done for. I had always had a crush on Edward, even when I was dating other guys. And if he changed, then I was willing to be his. Rosalie would of course be a problem. I had to leave soon, and she was still in the kitchen.

"Edward?" The question was asked with spite. Rosalie was standing in the kitchen doorway, arms crossed. She took turns glowering at me, and at Edward. Lilly chose this opportune moment to walk into the room, smiling.

"Edwawd!" She squealed, and ran to hug his knees. He smiled his crooked smile at her, and she blushed, and came running towards me.

"Right. Never mind then. I'll be going. Goodbye traitor!" Rosalie yelled, yanking open the door and running to her car. I sighed. So my relationship with Rosalie would never progress. I would always be the annoying little sister that got everything. I turned to see Edward wearing an amused smile.

"Traitor? Because I came to your house? Nice sister." He said. I picked Lilly up. Dinner would be long tonight.

"Let's go. I want to get this night over with." I called over my shoulder. I heard him chuckle, and close the door behind him.


	2. Still Breathing

**A/N: I did it! I finally continued a story! I'm so proud of myself. Maybe I should get an award. Hey I'm in such a good mood; I'll even do something I said I never do:**

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight does not belong to me. I only own a computer, and music. Both help me write fanfiction though. So it's all good! Oh! And I own Lilly and Amy. **

**There happy? Onwards good people**

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When we finally arrived at Jake's house, I had almost had enough of Edward. Almost. Lilly was contentedly sipping a juice box that Edward had enough courtesy to get for her. It wasn't as if that small act would make me do anything for him, but it was kind of the idiot to think for once. I should give him a gold star. I got out, grabbed Lilly, and started walking towards the door, when I felt someone grab my arm. I was spun around, and collided with Edward once more.

"Ow. Thanks, now both me and poor Lilly will have bruises in the morning." I said sarcastically. He leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Sorry, just wanted to create a scene." He kissed behind my ear, and then kept walking. I, of course, was paralyzed on the spot. It wasn't as if you could just do that to someone and leave! Wait, I was talking about Edward Cullen, jerk and player extraordinaire. Of course he would just do that. Well, two could play that game. Actually, I'd play another game. One that wasn't as easy, and that had more of an effect. I was fairly certain that this was not just going to be the Black's, me and Lilly, and Edward that were eating here tonight. Maybe Seth would be there. I'm fairly certain that he's always had a crush on me. Here's to hoping he didn't grow out of it. I walked up to Edward and poked him in the back. Yes, that's almost childish, but at least it hurts him. He rang the doorbell, and the awkward silence that always falls on people after the ringing of the doorbell fell on us. Seriously, I get nervous after ringing a doorbell. The door opened to reveal a grinning Jacob, and a crying Amy.

"Hey guys! Bella, could you hold Amy for a sec? Leah's changing, and I'm fairly certain that Edward thinks kids have some rare contagious disease. Please?" He begged, struggling with the wiggling bundle in his arms. I grinned. And so the night begins.

"Jake? You have arms. I suggest you use them." I suggested, smirking. Edward laughed, trying to cover it up as a cough. Jake grimaced and turned around. I set Lilly down, grabbed her hand, and followed after him. He sat down in one of the mildly overstuffed seats in their small living room.

"What have you been up to lately?" He asked, gesturing to the seats. I sat down and pulled Lilly onto my lap. I felt like I was being slightly violent with her.

"The usual. School, work, taking care of Lilly. Avoiding Rose. You know." I replied nonchalantly. He grinned. "Actually, Rose came to my house today. Big news." I whispered, afraid the walls had ears. I saw Edward sit straighter at that remark. So, the _walls_ didn't have ears, but Edward did. And he'd be sure to spread the news to the whole school. I changed tactics. "Okay, so not that big. Everyone already knows. I mean, it's slightly obvious." I laughed. Edward of course relaxed at that. After all, if everyone knew, he most likely did too, right?

"Mm. I smell gossip, tell all, Bella." Leah said, coming in and sitting next to Jake. He handed her Amy, and looked relieved to have her out of his hands.

"Okay. So, this is high school level drama, keep that in mind. Rosalie came to me today, and she was crying. So, being me, I almost closed the door. But again, being me, I felt almost sorry for her, and let her explain." I paused for dramatic effect. "She's _pregnant _and needs _money_. In what world is either of those normal?" Again, Edward straightened up. "Anyway, guess who the father is?" I asked, smirking. This one would put them on edge. I knew it. Edward got up, and walked out the door. I watched after him. "Just a sec, I'll go see what he's smoking, and then I'll be back." I said, rolling my eyes. I set Lilly down on the couch and walked after him. Of course, he was brooding under a tree, a cigarette in his hand. He glowered at me, as if it was my fault that Rose was pregnant. "Hey." He glowered some more at me.

"Hi." He sighed. So we weren't talking. I understood that much.

"Listen. I should probably tell you before I tell them." He sighed and looked at me as if to say 'you think?' "Yeah, well, you're not the father, though that probably doesn't relieve you at all. Here's the twist: Emmett McCarty is. Not you, not her boyfriend. Okay?" I don't know why I was comforting _him_. But, I suppose it was too late. He started coughing and spluttering. It was kind of gross actually. When he finally calmed down, he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Emmett McCarty? You mean the quarterback? I'll kill the sorry loser!" He shouted, punching the tree. I couldn't help it, I started laughing. "What?" He asked, bewildered.

"You... I.... Emmett?" I burst out laughing again. I took some deep breaths. "Sorry. I mean, it's hilarious. _You_ kill _Emmett_. Have you ever seen him? He's like The Hulk, just not green. You wouldn't last a second in a fight against him! You're not that strong!" I finished. He was just staring at me now, a determined look in his eye. He smirked, and advanced slowly. Now, this was scary. He ducked down, and then flung me over his shoulder, like a caveman. Being me, I shrieked.

"Hah! Not strong!" He shouted. He was running to the house now, with me still draped over his shoulder. I was screaming and banging on his shoulders. He laughed wholeheartedly, and I swear, that sound was the most beautiful sound in the world. I couldn't help but join in with him. He walked through the front door and sat on the couch, setting me next to him and draping his arm around my shoulders. I looked up to find an open-mouthed Jake, and a smiling Leah. I rolled my eyes.

"Jake, Jake! C'mon! Wake up! Where's Lilly?" I asked, trying to make him snap out of it. He still didn't, so I turned to Leah.

"I took Amy upstairs, and Lilly followed. She's still up there." She replied. The doorbell rang, so she went to answer it. Lilly came running in, and Edward grabbed her, setting her on his lap. She twisted around to see who had grabbed her.

"Edwawd!" She squeaked. He laughed and began tickling her, making her squirm. Jake snapped out of it the when Seth and Sue Clearwater walked in. Edward sat Lilly upright and once again draped his arm around my shoulders again. Lilly crawled into my lap, and patted my cheek. "Mommy, is that Seth?" She said, barely articulating. I nodded, and she squealed, jumping out of my lap to go hug his knees. He picked her up and span around. Seth was a lot like her brother of sorts. He and Sue visited us quite often. He sat next to me, Lilly still in his arms. She pulled on his hair, which was growing out again. Leah invited us all into the dining room for dinner. Dinner here was never a small affair. Seth and Jake probably ate ten times what I could. I never understood it. Edward sat next to me again. It was like he was my shadow.

"So Bella, you forgot to tell us the news from Washington State!" Leah said, leaning in closer to me. I glanced at Edward, just to make sure he wasn't going to swear to murder any time soon.

"Right. Well, Rose is... pregnant." I said, for Sue and Seth's benefit. Jeez. I sounded like I was confessing murder. It wasn't like I was the one that got her pregnant! "Emmett McCarty is the father. I'm fairly certain that you know him, right? Star football player..." I asked. It seemed that everyone was stunned to silence.

"Wait... Rose... Emmett... baby?" Sue stuttered. I nodded.

"Yeah. Shocker right?" Leah frowned; Jake stared at Edward, an eyebrow raised. He probably suspected that he would like to kill someone too. Seth shrugged and continued eating, and Sue just stared at me. "What? Guys, it's fine. I'm pretty sure she can take care of herself." I tried to somewhat reassure them.

"Wait. I thought you said she needed money!" Leah accused. So she wasn't the happiest person in the world...

"She doesn't. She just thinks she does. My ex-parents give her everything. They might throw her out of the rich family circle if they find out that she's pregnant. But she can easily ask for a lot of money beforehand and then after that tell them she's pregnant." I explained.

"Bella. You know very well that she's not that smart. She's more of a... pretty face. There's not much inside." Sue said, patting my hand. And that's where I lost it. Again, I burst out laughing. Quite a few people seemed to join in. Sue meant well, but she just sounded like she was insulting Rose. We all sobered up enough to notice Amy toddle up the Leah. Edward jumped up and ran outside again. I sighed and followed after him again.

"You know you can't just run away every time something doesn't go your way. You should face them head on. You know? Be the superman, instead of the damsel in distress for once!" I shouted after him. He turned sharply. He apparently didn't like being called a girl.

"The superman? Since when is superman a boy with fears and failures? Since when does he have fifty girls thinking that they're good enough for him because he's made mistakes in the past? Since when do I want these girls? Since when?" He growled. My heart broke then.

"Edward. They aren't good enough for you." I whispered. And he knew that too. "But, you let them think they are, every time you pick another one up. Maybe if you just... I don't know. Didn't? Maybe if you were alone. Listen, I need to get Lilly back. Can you drive us home?" I asked. He nodded. I went to say goodbye to the others and get Lilly.

He dropped us off at home and sped off, without so much as a 'bye'. Jerk. Love was so confusing. How hard is it to say 'I love you' and get it returned? Apparently, you could spend your whole life searching for that. I felt like I was in one of those old movies. I even felt like I was in black and white. The girl is hopelessly in love, and the guy is not. But things always work out for them. They always end up having the huge families; always a happy ever after. Mine didn't feel like it would be possible. I put Lilly to bed. I went to the living room and turned the TV on. But before I could sit down, the doorbell rang. Idiot! They could wake Lilly up. I ran to the door and opened it. There stood none other than Alice. She smiled broadly.

"So, Edward called tonight! He said he got a pep talk from one of my friends, and that he's cleaning up his act." She walked in and sat on the couch. So of course, I ran over here as soon as possible! Thank you so much Bella!" She beamed.

"Alice. I didn't give him a pep talk. I insulted him. That much was clear." I turned my head away. So, I was pouting. Alice scoffed.

"I'm sorry Bella, but did you know that offending Edward is impossible? The guy has an ego the size of.... well I don't know! An elephant I suppose. He's an arrogant jerk. But whatever you said got to him. He was trying to explain to four of the girls that he didn't want to date them anymore. Four!" She was practically jumping up and down in her seat.

"And that's why you came over here? Alice, you could have called me. You have a kid at home that needs you. Besides, why drive an hour to Seattle? You live in Forks, hun. Not exactly genius of you, is it?" She wasn't always the brightest pixie.

"Oh. Um, do you mind if I spend the night? Jazz and I sort of got in a fight. Nothing big, before you jump in and assume the worst." She stopped me. "He's taking care of Anna tonight." **(A/N: Alice's daughter.)** "I just need a place to stay, 'kay?" I nodded. I knew not to fight Alice, and after all, she was my best friend. I got up and grabbed a few blankets for her.

"I know you said it's nothing big, but do you wanna talk about it?" She shook her head no. "Okay, do you need anything else? Okay. 'Night." I turned off the light for her.

"Thanks Bella." She called out after me.

I crawled into bed with the feeling that tomorrow would hold less surprises. Or maybe just one that would brighten my whole outlook on life.

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**A/N: Did I do good? Is it as confusing as the last one? **

**Review please!**

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	3. Alive, for now

**A/N: Yay! Chapter three! Note: The names of the chapters are mostly irrelevant to the actual story/ chapter. It's usually just because I'm listening to some friggin' good music and it's a song that I like/ am listening to when I'm posting the chapters. **

**Sorry it took so long to post. It was my last day of vacation, and I was being sort of lazy. Here, cookies for all! *hands cookies* don't hurt me.**

**Thank you for reading/ reviewing/ adding this story to your favourites! I got like a bajilion favourites! EEEEEE!**

_Three days later: Library_

I wasn't thrilled that Edward hadn't contacted me or Alice at all since the dropping my off after dinner. He had been so... vulnerable. As if nothing could fix him. Something big had happened to Edward, something that, despite the closeness that I had with his sister, I didn't know about. And that something had left him broken. He covered it up well, I knew that. He did use to be normal. Not the crazy, driven by any girl he could get his hands on, rich boy that Edward had become. He now hung out with all the wrong people, namely girls whose names he could not remember. He used to have only two close friends, whom he cast out into the dust, like the innumerable amount of girls, or dates past. I knew he was the same person, deep, deep down inside. And on rare occasions, like at the Black's, he showed that.

"Earth to Bella! C'mon, wake up!" I heard a somewhat distant voice beg in the distance. My eyes focused on a familiar face in front of me. I flung my arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek.

"Felix! I can't believe it! I thought you went to some prestigious school! What was it? Oh right, Dartmouth. Why are you here?" I rushed out. It was always a great thing to see a long lost friend again.

"Oh, don't sound too disappointed. I promise it's only for a few days, and then you can go back to your 'Bella Bubble'." He smirked. "Oh, I'm here for the vacation. Yeah, we get those at Dartmouth, before you ask. Anyway, a few buddies of mine and I are on a road trip, I_ begged _them to stop here for a few days. Just so that I could see you, Bells. And begging is very degrading for a guy." I smiled.

"That's great! Do you have a place to stay? I'm sure that Lilly would just love to see you. She's been fairly upset since her best friend moved away." I looped my arm through his, and started walking towards the exit of the Library.

"Nah, we have a _huge_ hotel booked. It's absolutely amazing. The rooms are enormous."

"Yeah, okay. Brag if you want. Besides, I'm fairly certain that there is none of those in all of Washington State."

"I'm just kidding Bells; we have a motel lined up. But where is the squirt anyway?" He looked around him, after deciding that Lilly was not in fact there, he looked at me quizzically.

"She's at home. And before you start questioning why I'm insane enough to let a two year old be alone at the house, I hired a twelve year old to look after her." I smiled proudly. Felix rolled his eyes.

"Yes, because a twelve year old taking care of a two year old is _so_ much better. I'm sure she's burnt the house down by now."

"Whatever. Hey, want to go out to lunch? I have the babysitter for a few more hours."

"I would love to." He leaned down and kissed my cheek. It wasn't as if we were dating. We had in the past, but that ended. Not badly, no one was hurt, it just ended. I got into my old beat up Chevy, the one that I had had since junior year in high school. Felix looked sceptically at the car, and climbed in. "Why do you still have this piece of" he cut off at my glare "rusty... metal...?"

"Because Trevor is my substitute boyfriend, he has treated me right."

"Ever think about getting a real boyfriend? Or at least go the classy way, and get a thousand cats."

"Shut up. Dating a car is perfectly normal. Where do you want to eat?"

"How about... that place over there?" He pointed to a small diner. I groaned. The onslaught of questions would begin. You see, what few people knew, was that the Edward Cullen, class A jerk, worked here. I put on my game face.

"Sure, sounds great." I pulled into the nearest parking spot. Felix wasn't oblivious, but he didn't make a remark about my apparent lack of want. We entered the restaurant and sat ourselves down at a private booth. Hopefully, Edward wasn't working today. He generally tended to man the booths. Of course, there was the telltale bronze bouffant, and sparkling green eyes that greeted us. God must hate me today.

"Hey, I'm Edward; I'll be your waiter today. What can I get you for starters? We have a new speciality, the Battered Artichoke Heart, smothered in a delectable red sauce, easily mistaken for blood." He smiled warmly at me, and glared at Felix. "Or the Treacherous Thai Noodles." I rolled my eyes. _So _creative Edward. Really, five stars.

"I'll just have a coke, thanks. Felix will have one too." He smirked, and left to get our drinks. "Sorry about that. Edward is just a jerk. I don't really know what he was talking about, but he sounded... angry. There's no lack of words, just, I think there is young children in the next booth." Felix chuckled and grabbed my hand.

"It's fine. So, let's talk about Lilly. How is she?" He was always so kind to me and Lilly. Sometimes, I hated that he was completely in love with his long time girlfriend, Jane. She loved him, he loved her. Love was so easy to them. I envied it.

"She's doing great. Thanks for asking." We sat there in silence, him still holding my hand over the table. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, like the one any _normal_ person would have with an ex, but I wasn't _normal_. I looked around, noting that the diner was actually fairly small, with only fifteen booths. Edward came back with the drinks. He smiled tightly at Felix, and glared at me. That was certainly a change from before. I noticed Felix unfolding a small piece of paper. He gasped, and looked up at me. He looked back at the paper, and continued reading. He looked up at me again, and then looked in the direction that Edward had just left.

"Felix are you having trouble reading? It's probably just his number." I giggled. "Oh my gosh, you should call him and ask him on a date! Or is that technically his job? Would you be the guy or the girl?" I sat pondering that for a second.

"Funny."

"Good, so what do you think, should I become a comedian?" I grinned. He rolled his eyes at me, and grabbed the piece of paper again. "You're seriously considering calling him aren't you?"

"No. Bella, you didn't tell me you were 'exclusive' with anyone. Especially not Edward, weird." He chuckled to himself.

"What? No. I'm not... we're not... he's... I'm....UGH!" I breathed in and out deeply. "We're not dating! We're... being friendly." I smiled, satisfied. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Friendly... so you're not ripping his head off yet? Glad to hear it!" Felix chuckled, making me roll my eyes. "I would let you read this but there are several graphic death threats, and I'm certain that Lilly reads minds." He whispered, as if anyone overhearing this conversation might possibly explode.

"Okay, but we aren't dating. Would I like that? If he changed, yes. Would I possibly shout it from the rooftops? Yes. But we aren't dating. He hasn't changed. End of story, let's order." I commanded. I looked around for Edward and... _Oh crap_... he had been standing right there when I had made my small speech. "Um, I'll have..."

"Nothing, she'll have nothing, we have to go." Felix said, glaring at Edward. I don't get it. What did he do to him? Felix threw a five on the table and grabbed my arm, and it hurt. He dragged me to my car, and opened the driver's seat.

"I'm going to walk back to the library. I'll see you tonight. Bye." And he ran off. It was official, my life was like one of those bad dramatic TV shows, and I was the main character. That seriously sucks. I was about to turn the car on when my passenger door opened, and in jumped none other than... Edward.

"Sorry, do you mind if I came over to your house? I won't be a bother, I promise. I just need to escape for a while, and hang out with someone who doesn't walk away whenever I say something mildly intelligent." I rolled my eyes.

"You never say anything intelligent." I mumbled and drove out of the parking lot. He chuckled slightly and straightened up in the chair.

"I know. I meant every time I talked. People seem to like walking away from me."

"Maybe if you were less of a jerk, they'd stay." I pulled up into my driveway. I got out and went to the door. I heard Lilly giggling and smiled.

"Lilly, come back here! Ugh! Seriously kiddo, stop it!" Abigail, the 12 year old I hired screamed as she chased my toddler around the house. It was interesting that somehow, Lilly was faster than Abigail.

"Abigail, its fine, she'll calm down in a second. No worries."

"She's been like this since you left! There's no way she's done." She screeched, still chasing after the short two year old. Lilly ran past me, so I scooped her up and went to sit her on the couch.

"Hun, you need to sit here for a second. Can you do that?" She nodded and smiled cutely. "Abigail here's your pay, thank you for taking care of her. Bye!" I all but shoved her out the door. Edward watched as she stomped off, chuckled and walked in.

"Well... that was nice of you." He sat on the couch next to Lilly, me following suite.

"So why exactly did you absolutely _need _to come here? You like playing with kids?" I smirked.

"Actually yes, it's one of my closetful of hobbies." His eyes were the sparkling, whirling pool of joy that I hadn't seen since we had left for College. "No. I needed to escape. Just as I said that I did. You know how people always expect me to do something, to be somebody? Well, that's been coming back to bite me. Like a snake whose tail you stepped on. They'll always bite you back."

"Maybe if you hadn't started the 'be who everyone wants you to be, not yourself' movement, that wouldn't have happened. You should start over. Say goodbye to the parties, the girls, and the occasional fight. Live life how you wanted it to be when you were little, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember wanting to be a trash man. Riding on the back of a trash truck? Yes please. That's what I had wanted. And now, the future looks to be just like that." He chuckled. It wasn't the happy, amused chuckle. It was dark, empty almost. "I lost my way, when my parents started pushing me one way, and my friends in the other."

"Everyone does that. If you don't happen to remember, let me refresh your memory. That happened to me too. Lilly wasn't planned. She isn't someone I love's daughter. I lost my way. But she is someone I love. She's my daughter too, and she will never be a mistake. No matter how many times I cursed myself for messing up like that. I found my way back though. And you will too. You just need a push."

Edward didn't say anything. For a while, he was just staring down at me, making me feel uncomfortable. It wasn't a glare, quite the opposite actually. He was smiling with his eyes, and frowning with his mouth. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on my lips, and pulled away, just in time for the door to burst open in a most dramatic manner. I quickly turned to see who had... _dared _to disrupt us, and possibly make a mark on the wall.

**A/N: Umm.... Good? Bad? Needs help? I'm such a crappy writer that I should go live in a tunnel? Review?**


	4. Author's note, please read!

Hello my readers, few and far between!

Unfortunately, I must write one of these awful authors notes that take the place of a chapter.

Let me get down to it.

My computer died, cannot be fixed and I lost ALL of my work. That is the reason for which I have not updated. Believe me, I'd been writing like crazy before it died, and I've been panicking since, trying to revive it, if only to get the documents off of my computer. Nothing has worked, and I poked my head out of my panic zone enough to let me write this. I'm writing on a friends Mac, and it is insanely infuriating.

Now. As soon as I have enough money, I will buy a new computer. One that works and is not too daunting to my brain capacities.

Thank you for your understanding,

I bid you adieu, for now.

Melis.


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